Will’s Official Weekly Golf Ranking, Vol. 2023.6

There was almost too much action in the golf world over the last week. Here's how things shook out


There will likely be weeks in WOWgr’s future that have little turnover. Boring weeks, if you will. This is not that week.

Need a recap on the WOWgr rules?

Vol. 2023.6

No. 1 – Par (Up 664 spots from last week) – Jennie Park, a member of the Texas A&M women’s golf team, made 36 straight pars during the UCF Challenge this week. Thirty. Six.

T-2 – Jon Rahm and Rory McIlroy (Down 1 and no change) – Neither has won this week. Neither has lost, either. It’s a dead heat.

No. 4 – Common sense (Up 93) – After a year that saw many fans throw beer cans onto the 16th hole at TPC Scottsdale, officials at the Waste Management Phoenix Open have decided to serve beer in cups only. This isn’t a perfect fix—drunk fans are liable to throw anything—but an empty cup isn’t quite as dangerous a projectile as a semi-full can. Also, let’s hope the beers are pre-poured; otherwise vendors are in for a tough weekend.

No. 5 – The written word (Up 299) – Billy Walters, the renowned gambler and insider-trading convict, is set to release his autobiography on August 15. The book will reportedly delve into Walters’s various gambling endeavors with Phil Mickelson. Alan Shipnuck, the author of last year’s unauthorized Phil biography, said, “Phil is nervous about that book, and he probably should be.”

No. 14 – Rory Sabbatini (Up 499) – I’m told that the outfit Sabbo sported during the first round of the WM Phoenix Open was good. At least it generated some discussion.

No. 33 – Innuendos (Up 731) – Jon Rahm was asked if he kept anything besides the trophy from his 2020 Memorial win. “His name is Kepa,” Rahm said. “He’s about two years old now.” Kepa is Rahm’s son. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

No. 321 – Talor Gooch (Down 43) – The USGA made a small adjustment to their U.S. Open qualifying criteria, removing an avenue Gooch could have used.

No. 473 – The Thicc Boi (Down 200) – Rarely do we get to see how the sausage gets made. Usually we don’t want to. Let’s all make an exception for Adam Schupak’s Golfweek report on the recent falling-out between Bryson DeChambeau and Cobra Golf.

As if there were any doubt, Schupak’s piece makes it clear that Bryson is a narcissistic goober who expects his associates to pull off impossible feats for his benefit. Cobra’s PGA Tour rep Ben Schomin told Schupak, “[Bryson] thinks there is a magic bullet out there. He’s looking for a unicorn.” An anonymous executive at another OEM said, “We don’t have the manpower to deal with him.” This kind of report would hurt anyone’s WOWgr standing. It doesn’t help, either, that Bryson hasn’t done anything of note on a golf course for many months.

No. 500 – Athletic department budgets (Down 301) – Mother Nature had her way with the Amer Ari Invitational in Hawaii this week. The tournament, which featured nine of the top 20 teams in the men’s NCAA standings, was canceled because of high winds. Those poor kids had to take a trip to Hawaii and didn’t get any golf out of it! In all seriousness, that’s a bummer. Hope they all found some good food and a pool shielded from the wind.

No. 887 – Students at the University of St. Andrews (Down 697) – As someone who lives in a city, I know that construction noises can be disturbing. So I sympathize with students in the St. Andrews dorms dealing with recent cycles of construction and demolition. They have tests to study for, damn it!

No. 1,999 – Hype videos (Down 341) – I’m not sure what LIV was going for with this video, but they failed.

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