With just the Team Championship in Miami remaining this weekend, the second LIV Golf regular season has come to a conclusion. And what a season it has been! Now that LIV Golf is solidly established as the world’s preeminent unaccredited team golf league, I’d like to introduce the first annual SuperlaLIVs, the most prestigious awards earned on the LIV Golf tour.

Most Convinced He’d Have Beaten Lexi Thompson Last Week: Charl Schwartzel

Least Convinced He’d Have Beaten Lexi Thompson Last Week: Pat Perez

Most Likely to Grimace Any Time He Is Handed a Book He Is Mentioned In: Phil Mickelson

Most Likely to Grimace Any Time He Is Handed a Book: Lee Westwood

Most Likely to Tweet Angrily at the Ryder Cup Team Europe Twitter Account for Not Wishing Him a Happy 47th Birthday: Ian Poulter

Most Likely to Compete for Millions of Dollars on a Four-Person Professional Sports Team with Two Other Men Over the Age of 45: Ian Poulter, Lee Westwood, and Henrik Stenson

Most Likely to Read Those Two Awards Above and Still Believe He’s Both Rational and Undervalued: Ian Poulter

Most Likely to Beat Sihwan Kim in All 13 LIV Golf Events in 2023: Marc Leishman, Dustin Johnson, Harold Varner III, Charles Howell III, Richard Bland, Mito Pereira, Branden Grace, Paul Casey, Carlos Ortiz, Joaquin Niemann, Sergio Garcia, Matt Jones, Patrick Reed, Bryson DeChambeau, Cam Tringale, Cam Smith, Talor Gooch, Brendan Steele, Dean Burmester, David Puig, Bubba Watson

Top Finishing Future Ryder Cup Captain: Talor Gooch (1st)

Top Finishing Former Ryder Cup Captain: Henrik Stenson (25th)

Best at Acting Like He’s Pissed Off about the Official World Golf Rankings Even Though He Knows It Doesn’t Really Affect Him: Kevin Na

Most Likely to Be Mistaken in Public for a Player that’s Won a Professional Golf Tournament: Cameron Tringale

Most Likely to Withdraw from an Event Because He Had to Complete a Work Out: Jason Kokrak and Matt Wolff

Most Likely to Admit on Camera that the Reason He Likes His Equipment is Because You Don’t Have to Hit It Properly: Bryson DeChambeau

Most Likely to Register for a Professional Golf Tournament Under a Pseudonym For Completely Non-Controversial Reasons: Andrew Waterman

Most Likely to Make a Hole in One That Is Legitimately the Highlight of His Professional Career: Chase Koepka

Most Likely to Text a Player on LIV “Hey, I’m totally happy with where I am but if you guys ever need a fourth, I’m there. You got me?”: James Hahn

Most Likely to Text Another Adult “Hey, I just want you to know that you really hurt my feelings” After Being in the Wrong: Sergio Garcia

#MOSTLIKELY to Watch a Six-Hour LIV Golf Broadcast Hoping for a 5-second Screen Grab of a Player Dropping an F-Bomb: NUCLR GOLF

Most Likely to Google “Relegation” This Weekend: Jediah Morgan

Most Likely to Google “Relagashun” This Weekend: Lee Westwood

Congratulations to this year’s winners. See you again next year after Jeddah!


This piece originally appeared in The Fried Egg newsletter. Subscribe for free and receive golf news and insight every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.